It's funny how things work out...yet you know at the back of your head, they haven't really been worked out.

The head vs. the heart.

I don't know what to do...

I have a new favourite song.

自知之明

沒有可愛面孔　不懂嘩眾取寵
未太懂去用言語誇張掩人耳目
一早知道沒那種資格
營造氣氛欺騙觀眾
但那青蛙亦有公主包容

沒有趣緻賣相　只得一對手掌
一邊唱一邊彈　平凡變得漂亮
沒有那個大志去當萬人迷
當了還覺得牽強

沒有想怎麼討好所有人
只知道安守我小小本份
不愛用半句埋怨博取一個憐憫
唯有專心做個知足的人

沒有咋舌技倆　都不必太緊張
醜小鴨跟天鵝　同樣發光發亮
沒有興趣為某君裝扮模樣
堆砌盛世來鋪張

沒有想怎麼討好所有人
只知道安守我小小本份
不愛用半句埋怨博取一個憐憫
從未厭棄過自己身份

就算我知音只一個人
給他去欣賞過仍是有幸
自己都知道還有那一些我沒有
唯有專心做個知足的人

我也不稀罕討好世人
之所以不需多修飾缺陷
不要護蔭更何況我不需要憐憫
從未怕看到這麼逼真

就算我知音只得這鋼琴
都不要緊反正我很開心
自己都知道沒有法子可以完美
唯有安心做個簡單的人

沒法逼你欣賞　給我尖叫鼓掌
但至少我就此發表清楚我立場

Song, lyrics, arrangement all by Pong Nan. Amazing talent this guy has. If he doesn't get an award for best singer/songwriter this year, I'm going to shoot the HK Music scene.

It's comforting to know that other side does think of me too...

I suppose you could call tonight our second date...if it can be considered a date...

I still can't gauge how the other side feels, if the other side feels anything that is. Our conversation didn't go anywhere near there tonight, which I guess is a good thing. Conversation was normal although other side did ask about my past relationships.

I think both parties aren't sure. Both, yea. I'm definitely not sure. And I think from how things are progressing, the other party's not sure too. I guess this is where we suss each other out and see if we can progress any further.

Halfway through, other side decides to call a friend to join us. Ok, so maybe I'm thinking too much into this. But...what's a girl to think? Is my company that boring? Or did other side ask a friend to come help suss me out? Or does other side feel really uncomfortable being alone with me?

Oh well.

順期自然.

I don't know what to think.

Maybe I just don't want to think.

Maybe I'm just too much of an open book. And people can see that so use it to their fullest advantage.

The other side plays the game too well. Actually, I don't even know what sort of game we're playing now.

After what you told me, what exactly do you want me to think?

I didn't budge.

And surprise, surprise, the other side initiated the online chat today. Even apologise for ignoring me yesterday. The same old excuse, of course: Busy.

Yea, right.

Anyway, it's a date.

Yup, I'm meeting other side tomorrow after work.

Actually, I was just thinking...wouldn't it be funny if other side stumbled upon this blog of mine and started reading...

Oh well.

I suppose if that happens, I can always put it down to fate.

And now it's a cold war.

Logged off yesterday evening totally irritated by other side's comments, or rather non-comments.

Today, no communication from the other side even though we were both online at the same time. Well, I'm not going to say hello until the other side does.

Not going to budge.

Well, we're on messenger now.

Not that it makes much of a difference 'cos the other side is never on and even if on, always too busy to chat.

Why then call and ask for my messenger ID?

I'm tired.

Dunno how long I can keep up this game. Maybe I should just throw in the towel and grab the other side by the collar and say, "Yep, I'm interested. Are you? 'Cos if you're not, let's not waste each other's time."

I broke.

The first thing I did this morning was send an sms over.

Oh well.

我擺明被人玩。
但係我又賤格到好樂意被人玩。

A sucker for punishment, I am.

It doesn't bode well at all when you dream about the person on the other side of the court two days in a row. Not especially when you want the upper hand in this game. 'Cos this definitely means you don't have the upper hand in this game. And when that's the last person you think about before going to bed and the first person you think of when you wake up, your whole day's shot 'cos you just can't stop thinking about that person. My hand was on the keypad of my phone the whole day and it practically took all my willpower to not dial that person's number.

I will not call.

I will not sms.

I will not be the one to break first.

I have no clue why I'm attracted to that person too! I shouldn't be. It's not even the sort of person I normally get attracted to!

Boy, am I in deep shit up to my knees.

It's not good when you start dreaming about the person on the other side of the court. Definitely not a sign that you have the upper hand in the game...'cos that's the first person you think of in the morning when you wake and then you mull about it all day long and there's this big fight inside you to call or not to call...but you know you shouldn't call 'cos that would mean you were weak and give the other party the upper hand instead (which all things considering, I think the other side already has the upper hand. I'm not playing this game very well). Damn. Why do we have to play games?

Then again, I suppose it won't be any fun if there wasn't any games...

&!%^#!^#*!^

There are reasons why we gave you the scripts.

There are reasons why we want your approval.

There are reasons why you should learn how to read!

Of all the stupid, silly, moronic things...it's your bloody phone number. Shouldn't it have been the first thing you noticed if it was wrong?! Shouldn't you have said it then? Geesh...script in hand! Script in hand for days!!

But noooooo...you wait until we've recorded and mixed and sent out the materials, then you say, eh, wrong phone number-la.

Hello???!!!

Some brains here, please!

Totally unacceptable when you're in the bloody same industry. Unless this is what PR does all the time - neglect to notice the phone number until the very last minute *rolls eyes*

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Can you tell I'm totally peeved?