Payback?

Watched this hilarious programme on Wah Lai Toi last night.

Mr. Hong Kong.

If you thought female beauty pageants were a flesh market show, you should have seen Mr. Hong Kong. I can bet the producers and originators of this show were women, or gay men. It was like they meant it to be a big joke. If it wasn't 3am in the morning and I was trying to muffle my sniggering, I think I would have woken up the entire neighbourhood. The audience consisted of ALL women. And you can only guess how the atmosphere was when you have an auditorium full of women only with 12 men who have no qualms prancing around making total fools of themselves. All those cat calls. How could anyone take this pageant seriously?

It's like the women deciding it's payback time. Enough of women parading themselves in front of leering men vying for an insignificant crown. After all, it's only fair. Equality, right. Hah!

At least with female beauty pageants, you have a mixed audience of men and women, you have judges made up of men and women, and some pageants are well, they've been around long enough to be regarded remotely respectable.

Mr. Hong Kong on the other hand...

What campiness.

It's just totally disconcerting to see 12 grown men parading themselves in front of a hall full of women. It was like, well, 12 gigolos waiting to be picked up by their female clients. But somehow that feeling isn't the same for female beauty pageants. Hmmm. I guess we're just used to that whole idea of beauty pageants being for females. Maybe it should be that way.

No. I am not selling out my own gender. I suppose I just like looking at women more than men. Well. That lot of men in that Mr. Hong Kong pageant I just watched, anyway.

New year, new clothes

I'm wearing a red, blue, grey, white pinstripe shirt with a tie; and brown and blue pinstripe pants.

No. I. Do. Not. Look. Like. A. Clown.

In fact, I think I look damn cool. Shane-like. Hah! Do not laugh. If only a certain somebody could see me now.

Off to style my hair and put on some make-up. I'm going to be so hot today!

Gong Hey Fatt Choy y'all!

It sucks when...

... it's a Friday night and you're sitting at home blogging instead of out having a social life.
... your friends rather chill out at home than help you with your social life.
... you have no single friends who would go out with you and contribute to your social life.
... you like somebody but that somebody doesn't even know you exist.
... you're interested in somebody but because your friends rather sit at home, you have no chance of being introduced to that somebody in the near future.
... you know the weekend is shot 'cos it's Chinese New Year eve and everybody will be busy with their reunion dinners instead of their social lives.
... most of your friends are couples and you're the big big lightbulb.
... your ex is now in the arms of another (even though you don't really care. It just sucks.)
... your ex-crush now has a girlfriend (poor girl though.)
... the pub you're dying to go to is so frickin' far from home.
... your bank account is so low on cash, you worry about how you're going to pay your next credit card bill.
... you're paying for yoga membership each month yet you're too lazy to actually go.
... you don't have someone to cuddle up to in bed each night.
... there's no one to kiss you good morning.
... you know your car is due for a service but because you're so broke, you haven't sent it in.
... you can't eat as much as you like/want without NOT putting on weight.
... Chinese New Year is just round the corner but it doesn't feel like Chinese New Year is just round the corner.
... at the back of your head, you know you have to start work the second week of the new year (no, no. Must. Think. Of. The. Money.)
... you know when you start work, your social life is going to go down the drain (not that it isn't already.)
... you feel like eating a pear but all you have in the fridge are mandarin oranges.

Selling out

Body and soul.

All for the sake of money.

Yes, I'm starting another contract right after the first week of Chinese New Year. A month long contract. My principle of doing only a maximum of two weeks at any one time went flush down the toilet bowl. The temptation of somebody waving money right in front of your face is just too hard to resist. Especially when that money will allow you to not have to work for the next 3 months or so. Practicality wins, right.

I guess I can understand why some non-mainstream artistes sell out in the end too. After all, one has to eat. And to eat, one needs to have money. Unfortunately, not everyone can live on air and happiness alone.

I can already foresee a hellish schedule when I start in two weeks. With that amount of money they're paying me, they're going to be working me to the bone. For sure. No day, no night. Bye, bye social life for the month of February. I just have to remind myself each time of the money, the money, the money. I can continue because of the money. I will survive this coming month because of the money. The money will give me strength.

So I really am a total sell-out. But at least I'll have money. Lots of it. And then I can revert to being a bum again. Until the next job comes along.

Mouth filled with blood

After the dentist cleaned out all the plaque, tartar, 100-year old food pieces and what not from in between my teeth.

Boy, the blood. So much blood. When she (the dentist la, who else) said, alright, please spit and gargle. The bloooooood. All that bloooooood.

Looked like right out of an ancient chinese series where I had just been injured by 40 years of internal energy or poisoned by some never heard before poison.

No, I am not a drama queen.

It really felt like i was spewing blood from injury. Well, it was. My poor poor gums.

But anyway, my teeth are all nice and clean for CNY now. Not that you really needed to know. But I thought the bit about all that blood was rather erm...dramatic.

Fine. So i may be a little bit of a drama queen.

Speaking of queens, this other bit involves the current darling of HK pop, Queen Joey. And this release of hers...


Bi-Heart.

Did anybody think my same thoughts when they saw the title of the album?

Bi?

I knew it all along! Hahahaha. What a subtle attempt at telling the public she's bi. As in sexual.

Come on. Bi = two. Bi-heart = Two hearts. One for males, one for females. She's saying, hey people, look here, I love men and women!

I mean, why use 'bi' when you could have easily called it something else?

Taken from the album blurb by Yesasia: "Asian diva Joey Yung releases another new album Bi-heart! Joey has changed the title from By Heart to Bi-heart, partly because she regards the original title as old-fashioned, and partly because she thinks the new title best captures her dual personality."

So, she asked for that change. 'Cos it best captures her dual personality.

It's soooo obvious.

Damn. I love these women and their subtle messages.

I also think that I might have a pretty good future as an entertainment reporter a.k.a the paparazzi.

Seeing gay in everything

She posts:
"是鬼但啦，最重要係，
返到屋企，知道有人支持妳，
有人會sack妳，
有人比你sack返轉頭，
夠晒啦。
都話我唔貪心ga啦，有甘多野重唔知足，雷劈架。"

Who??!! Who issit? Who issit?

Is it...
... or
... or
... or
....?

Note that what comes to mind are not members of the opposite sex.

Ok, I'm at it again. I really, really, really can't help it.

Sorry, ah C.

Is it just me?

Go read: 愛上了。太幸福。

Ok, it's probably my totally outrageous theories working way overtime, but did anyone find this as gay as i did? Hahahaha. I mean, when I was reading it, I was thinking, my gawd, she's like so coming out! Hahahaha.

Especially this paragraph:
"這樣想，確實有點太貪心吧
假若在我們短短數十年的人生中
真的能有幸碰到那麼的一個人
那應該已是最幸福最幸運的事情吧。
其他的，又有什麼值得擔心。"

Ok, so maybe it's just me.

Everything she says I just have to attach gay connotations to. I can't help it.

God forbid she ever stumbles upon this blog, 'cos she'll probably hate me. And we can't have that happening 'cos I'm so in love with her! hahahaha.

Oops. I better retract that. Made me sound like some probable psychotic stalker.

Can't have her have a restraining order out on me. Not yet anyway. Then again, when we eventually meet (maybe in 1000 years), she'll see just how nice, charming and funny I am and fall head over heels in love with me.

*I'm sleeping. I'm dreaming. Don't wake me.*

Off target

In fact, no where even close.

And I'm talking about that weekend aim of mine. Even though I ditched being subtle and outrightly told my friends, look i wanna go to that pub, they cited exhaustion and laziness and opted for a night in front of the TV instead.

How am I ever going to meet people like that?

I don't care if I'm being unreasonable, I'm blaming my lack of social life on my friends.

I really need to find some single friends who would go to such places with me. But how am I going to if in the first place i'm not even there to meet people?

Quote unquote friend of mine: Who do you wanna pick up?
Quote unquote me: Well, i have to be there in order to know who it is I wanna pick up.

I think it was a bloody brilliant answer.

But of course, it was brushed off and attention reverted back to the plate of satay and TV.

Sigh.

Oh, and Krispy Kreme? I've heard lots about it. Haven't tried it though. On the account that the franchise isn't here where I live. So the culprit definitely wasn't me. Hahaha.

Ya, well...

this layout just seems to work better with all my ads.
Gain some, lose some.

In the meantime, click click click!
Hahahaha!

to blog or not to blog

To say that you can write everything or anything here is pretty much bull.
we all know that.

the fact that the whole world is able to access your deepest thoughts makes you wary about what it is you're actually posting here. do you really want strangers to be privy to everything?

Most of the time, we have to exercise self censorship. And that sucks 'cos what's the purpose of a journal if you can't write what it is you really want to say? You worry about whether your content will offend your readers. You worry about whether your content will actually get you into trouble with the law.

Employees are not allowed to say bad things about their workplace.
Students are not allowed to express their dislike for their school or teachers.
Citizens are not allowed to comment about other nationalities/races.

People have been prosecuted simply by writing their feelings onto an online journal.

You want to write what you feel? Use a pen and paper instead, then lock it up in a safe, safe place where nobody will ever find or read it.

Such is freedom of speech.

the singer-songwriter/songwriter-turned-singer phenomena

The latest wave to hit the HK music scene?

Judging by this year's end music awards shows, it does seem that way. The newcomer awards were practically dominated by songwriters turned singers, with Justin and Ivana Wong leading the way.

About time too.

Although I can't help but feel HK is suddenly overtly obsessed with the likes of such talent. Don't get me wrong, I think it's cool that the HK public is finally able to see beyond good looks. But somehow they seem to have gone overboard with this appreciation.

Suddenly every record label in HK wants to sign up a songwriter and groom him/her into a singer.

I'm wondering why didn't these songwriters become singers in the first place? They didn't have the looks? Not necessary. Justin's rather good looking. They couldn't sing? Again, Justin debunks that. They thought other singers could sing their compositions better? And now what? They think not? So, why the sudden change from being behind the scenes to being in full public view?

More money? Definitely.
More fame? For sure.
More accolades? Of course.

The simple realisation that, "bloody hell, it was my song who made so-and-so so popular. I should have just sung it myself and made myself that popular."

This new generation of singers has definitely given the idol group a run for their money. Not to mention awards too.

As they say in Chinese, feng shui changes with the tide.

EEG. The company that churns out idol singers by the dozen, the force dominant for so many years could only manage a handful of awards this year. And only from two of their artistes - Joey Yung and Twins. 2005 was certainly a dismal year for them.

It's the age of talent.

Those so-called idol singers need to put in the extra effort now if they hope to be as big as they once were or to be as big as their peers are (looking at Kenny Kwan, Isabella Leung and EEG's stable of artistes).

I'm not saying that all HK singers should now start writing their own songs. I'm saying that it's no longer enough to rely merely on your looks. In order to be a singer, you do need to be able to sing. There are a whole lot of singers who have great voices and can sing who don't write their own songs: Eason Chan, Hacken Lee, Leo Ku (although I really can't stand him much). Even Joey Yung. Although of the lot I mentioned, only one stood out for me this year, and that was Eason Chan.

His comeback album, U87, picked up album of the year. Yet he didn't write one song on it. He was co-producer though and had a hand in picking the songs. And that's what made the difference. He didn't stick to the tried and tested. But it was so easy to. After all, this was his comeback album. He could have just gone with easy listening commercial ballads that the HK audience adores. But he didn't.

Suddenly, being different is paying off.

Suddenly, we see names not previously in the headlines making more appearences. Groups and singers not known for typical HK pop picking up accolades. Finally, pop folk group, At17, and Chet Lam are getting the recognition they deserve. Then there's Soler, the newly-crowned best new group, with their pop-rock sound. And Pixeltoy with their computer synthesized sound. There's the singer-songwriter group with the likes of Anthony Wong, Denise Ho, Endy Chow, Gigi Leung, etc.

Suddenly, there's renewed respect for this lot of people.

How long a singer can last depends on his/her ability to change with the times. Recently a friend passed me a CD of songs by HK's new singers. Honestly, I haven't heard of more than half of them but song after song sounded the same to me. It came to a point I couldn't tell if I was listening to one whole long piece of music or individual pieces. Suffice to say, this new group of youngsters hasn't made much of an impression on me. Perhaps I'm not being fair 'cos I based my judgment on just those couple of songs I heard. But until I hear something I like that's remotely memorable, I won't be changing my opinion anytime soon.

Music-wise for HK, 2006 looks like it's going to be a good year. I'm looking forward to great stuff from At17 (I know they just released their album at the end of last year, but I'm greedy, I want more! Bian Bian Bian was one of my favourite albums), Chet Lam (desperately waiting for his English release), Denise Ho (the future queen of the HK music scene), Anthony Wong (man genius), and Endy Chow (this guy rocks!).

Ok, so why the sudden long post about HK music?

Hahahaha.

There's always an ulterior motive.

Notice the Yesasia buttons and search engine? Yes, yes, It's my money making madness taking over. You feel the need to purchase an album online? Your friendly neighbourhood music store doesn't carry the latest release or the album you're looking for? Click on the Yesasia link here, make your purchase on the Yesasia site and hey, you've helped me make some money once again.

See, I rub your back by providing you such easy access to dozens of wonderful Chinese albums, you rub mine by helping me make money.

Don't we just love each other.

it's a slow slow process

I've earned a total of USD0.58!
Wow.
Hahahaha.
Damn. This is really going to take ages.
I guess all notions of instant multi-millionairedom just went out the window.

Thank you if you've clicked on the ads. Keep up the clicking!
I promise I won't forget you people when I'm like so totally rich.
after all, i do love you all. Really!
(must be that at17 song that's causing this.)
No, really.
I do love you guys. Even without that song.

So, Monday peeps it's ugly head around the corner once again.
i shouldn't complain.
i am getting paid for practically no work at all.
and there's only 5 more days left...

all i can think about though is that little pub out oh, so far away from my home.
if only it was much nearer, i would go every day. just to check out the scene again. just to see if a particular person will show up. actually, make that two particular persons.
ok, so i'm not very monogamous. But i can be! with the right person. i think.

next weekend's aim: must think up a plan to convince my friends to go there without making it sound like i want to go there. damn, i'm devious.

Money money money

Lookee to the right.

Yes, those ARE ads. Hey, you can't blame me. I am in the ad business after all. Also, I'm broke, so it made sense to make some easy money. So help me out here people. It's so easy, it's so simple.

All you have to do is click on any one of those ads.
Even better if you click the referral and sign up for this program!

How difficult is that? Consider it minor finger exercise!

There's also a google search button for you to use. Aren't I just soooo nice? So use, use, use!

I know you love me and only want me to be happy. So click, click, click away.

I love you all too!

The two Es

Why do i like At17?

This song's one of the reasons.

又美麗又可愛 (Beautiful & Lovable)
曲：于逸堯@人山人海
詞：黃偉文
編曲：于逸堯@人山人海 + 何山@PixelToy
監製：蔡德才@人山人海

願有天 連大門鎖起都有人為我開
I'm wishing there'll be a day when someone will open the door for me even if it is locked
容易到 隨便單一單眼就嬴盡喝采
So easy that all i have to do is wink and i'll win all the cheers
沒那些 標準的美貌若祈求被愛
Even though I don't have these standards of beauty, I still wanna be loved
路途或苦一點 車也未必肯載??
Even if the journey is painstaking, there may not be a car that'll be willing to give a ride
然而後天 假使不信命
But if tomorrow, i do not believe in fate
總有 某件事情能令我
There will be a certain something that will...
將吸引力叫醒
...revive my attractiveness
沒有空 回去
i won't have time to go back
對鏡自憐 等不足變可愛
to look at myself in the mirror in pity, waiting to turn lovable
相貌原是與生俱來 性格尚能改
you are born with your looks, it's your character that can be changed

就算長得不美麗
Even if you aren't beautiful
亦有一點可愛吧
There's still something lovable
就算天生不是可愛
Even if you weren't born lovable
亦能平凡得優雅
You can still be gracefully ordinary
我們毋需 將光圈也除下
We do not need to remove this halo
寧垂下一雙翅膀也不怕一下
or fear hanging up our pair of wings

沒似畫眉目 才不等於 我們沒氣質
Not drawing our eyebrows does not mean we are not natural
成就了 自己一種風格 亦能被記得
I can also be remembered for creating my own style
沒那些 漂準的美貌 仍然能被愛
Even though I don't have these standards of beauty, I'm still loved
路途或苦一點 不過值得參賽
Even if the journey is painstaking, it's still worth taking part in it
明眸皓齒 找不到替代
Bright eyes, white teeth cannot be replaced
不過 美麗事情無絕對 標準有待我改
but beauty is not always a guarantee, i can change the standards
沒有空 回去 對鏡自憐 表演一臉感慨
i don't have time to go back to look at the mirror in pity, acting all indignant
怨恨神待我不公平 如何能令人愛
and blaming God for not being fair to me. How can one be lovable then?

就算長得不美麗
Even if you aren't beautiful
亦有一點可愛吧
There's still something lovable
就算天生不是可愛
Even if you weren't born lovable
亦能平凡得優雅
You can still be gracefully ordinary
我們毋需 將光圈也除下
We do not need to remove this halo
然後自己都信無法改變一下
or the belief that there's nothing you can do to change this

美人如花 苦差等我來吧!
Beauty is like a flower, leave the hard tasks to me!
從頭學識可愛 原來是 由人造化
to learn again what lovable is. Which turns out to be man-made after all

Tried my hand at translating. I think that's what the lyrics mean. hahahaha.

Even though they didn't write it, this song is just so...i dunno, honest. well, i think it is, anyway. It just strikes a chord. And coming from them, it's even more believable (hahahaha!) No, that wasn't meant to be mean. It's just well, the two Es aren't exactly beauties by society's standards. They're really lovable though and that's what makes them beauties. So, maybe that's why the song just seems so right when sung by them. And yea, Wyman Wong does write wonderful lyrics.

Promiscuous city

From partner to partner.
From lip to lip.
From bed to bed.

It's like a scene out of the L word.

Ok, maybe it's just my imagination running ahead of itself but it sure looked that way last night. Quite amazing. it's been a long time since my eyes had such a feast of hotties.

I think i've just been going to all the wrong places. no more. hahaha.

Back to the Grind

Again, just when i thought i'd be going broke into Chinese New Year, another phone call comes to save my finances.

Even though the money is not as good as i'd like it to be and the terms not as great, it's still money (which i haven't been getting much of lately). First thing i asked was when i could expect to get paid. Most places drag my payment for two months and i'm like a fish trying to breathe on land while waiting for the money to come in. Luckily they said payment will be made end of each month. Thank goodness. I guess that's why i was willing to settle for much less. Give and take. Take a little less, get given a lot faster. oh well, this is the life i chose.

i suppose the work will keep my mind off other things...
like when will i see mysterious person again.
like will i even see mysterious person again.
like will mysterious person still be single by the time we meet again.
like will mysterious person like me, find me compelling, interesting etc.

it's only 10 days. and we all know 10 days will be over before you know it. Actually, not really. When the job is shit and the place is shit, 10 days will feel like an eternity. but for the money, i will do my time. really sounds like a prison sentence. but at least, i will get paid for it.

principles? what principles?

Fate?

i mean, how often is it that someone whom you think is cute, would like to meet and get to know more of, has the same name as you?

it has to be fate. we were totally meant to be. hahaha. it's already 2006 and i'm still dreaming.

but it's good to have a 'goal' after so long. i thought there was something seriously wrong with me for not being interested in anyone (not counting WOD, but i know that one is totally impossible. and lets not even talk about ah c etc.)

anxiously looking forward to our next meeting. which i have no clue when it'll be...

do i have the courage to just pick up the phone and call? someone did offer to give me the number, after all.

"Hi, u don't know me. and well, i don't know u too, but i think you're cute. oh, we met at that new year's eve party the other day. well, didn't really meet but u were there and so was i. erm, anyway, u wanna have a drink sometime?"

hahahaha.

how lame is that?

gawd.

the HOCC Revolution

just finished watching the delayed telecast of the 903 music awards.

boy. tense.

even though they made it seem like the best male singer award was the hottest in contention, in reality, it was the best female singer award.

everybody was already expecting ah c to get one of the three, but which one? bronze or silver? gold was unlikely 'cos well, joey seemed like a shoo-in for that particular metal. but as the night wore on, it seemed that ah c really might have a chance at gold.

the moment. bronze went to miriam. oh my god. so ah c bettered all expectations (well, my expectations anyway) and received the silver. though judging from the audience, they would have much prefered if she got gold. poor joey. her speech was heartfelt and it seemed she herself knew what the audience really wanted even though she had the gold award.

honestly, i'm really happy for ah c. and for joey too. it just wasn't ah c's time yet. but it will be soon. if ah c keeps it up, this year will be hers for the taking. there's no doubt about it. her star is shining and it's getting brighter by the day. in the 'most favourite' category, miriam beat her by a whisker. ah c was sooooo close to taking that award.

2006 will be the year ah c steam rolls over everyone. this will be the year of the C. anita mui would be so proud.

i am so proud. from seeing her on stage with nic tse and wondering who she was to her first album till today, she's come a long, long way. my wish for her is that she'll have a path as illustrious as her late mentor while sticking to her own style and beliefs.

congratulations ah c. like many others, i'm really really happy for you.

01012006

slept a good part of the day, having woken up way too early cos i had to nurse a hangover.

so. my heart skipped a beat last night. met someone (well, not so much met. more like we were at the same party) so cool, so hot, so young. Am totally kicking myself now for not finding out her name. stupid. stupid. stupid.

oh, and i met my ex's current too. and feel much better after that. i think i'm much hotter than she. hahaha.

anyway. the new year.

doesn't really feel that much different from any other day in the old year.

i mean, apart from the fact that my mum is forcing me to buy another apartment (which i have no idea how i'm going to afford the repayments on 'cos 1. i can't get a loan on the account that i am unemployed 2. it's totally way beyond my means.) But does she understand that? Nope. Of course not. That's how mums are.

and since it's a time for new resolutions, here are some totally unrealistic ones:

- become a millionaire so that i don't have to worry about money.
- meet ah c.
- make ah c my girlfriend.
- have a circle of friends that include moses chan, bowie lam, ah c, charlene choi, karen mok, kevin cheng, daniel wu, etc.

and onward we soldier towards 2006.